


Not All That Innocent

by Angel_shimmer



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Bisexual Peter Parker, Dirty Jokes, I just love slut peter, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18484843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_shimmer/pseuds/Angel_shimmer
Summary: The Avengers have a habit of making... dirty jokes. But ever since Peter moved in they have to be more careful, little do they know Peter has seen/heard much worse. ;)





	Not All That Innocent

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first story so please bear with me a little because I'm still trying to figure this out. But I hope you enjoy this!

It's been two weeks since Peter moved into the Avengers Tower, sure a commute to school was longer but the training and the fact that he got to hang out with the Avengers, more than made up for it. But something was up with them. Every time he walked into a room everyone would hurriedly change the subject (He could hear what they were saying from 15ft outside the room with his super-hearing) or sometimes they make quick and inappropriate jokes but Peter never comments on them. He figures it's just their way of talking. Then one day he was about to enter the common floor living room when he paused to listen to see what exactly they were talking about.

 

"I'm gonna get a tattoo on my stomach that say's 'CAUTION choking hazard'" He hears Clint say."

 

"Pensavo che lo mettessero solo sui pacchetti con piccole parti"[I thought they only put that on packages with small parts] Peter quietly whispered to himself smirking.

 

"I thought they only put that on packages with small parts" Tony quips back instantly and the room burst into laughter.

 

All of a sudden it hits him.

 

They think Peter doesn't understand it, or that he's too innocent to know any dirty jokes.

Well then. As he walks in, he decides that he'll let them think what they think but start dropping little hints that, not only does know dirty things, he's heard and done much worse.

 

"Hey guys, what's up"

 

* * *

 

The next time it happens they're all in Med-Bay, after a somewhat intense battle against a bunch of new alien species for a routine check-up. Steve is the first one to break the silence. "So, who's up for some food? Chinese maybe?"

 

"Beh, preferirei avere un po 'di cazzo, ma qualunque cosa." (Well, I'd rather have some dick, but whatever.) Peter mumbled under his breath. Everyone turned to stare at him. "What did you say" asked Clint. Putting on his best innocent face he tilted his head a little and answered: "I said 'Chinese sound good to me!' Mr. Clint"

 

"Clint is just fine, Kid" was his reply.

 

No one questioned it, even if he got strange looks all through dinner. But Peter just ignored them and continued his conversation with Bruse about his latest project.

 

* * *

 

The following time was in the lab with Mr. Stark when Sam came in asking for some help with his arm. Peter could hear his footsteps long before he came in so he wasn't that surprised when he burst in and yelled, "STARK"

 

"Fuck!" Tony jumped with surprise "give a guy a little warning next time would you! Anyhow, what brings you down to our humble hideaway?" Tony questions him.

 

Sam looks slightly amused and answers "Redwing keeps loud sounds keeping me up at night, and that's not kinda sound I want to keep me up at night."

 

Tony chuckled a bit but before he could answer, Peter while keeping his eyes down quickly muttered "I miei gemiti ti tengono sveglio, Papà?" (Can my moans keep you up, Daddy?) but sharply turned his head in their direction when he heard a choking noise coming from Tony.

 

"What?" Sam questioned.

 

"Nothing!" Tony quickly exclaimed "Just leave Redwing here and I'll take a look at it" He quickly shoo'ed Sam from the Lab. "Him," He said before leaving. "What the hell, Kid?"

 

Peter knew what he was talking about but he wanting to play with him a little bit, "What do you mean?"

 

"You know damn well what I mean"

 

He sighed, "Mr. Stark I live in a shitty neighbourhood, your jokes are simply mild and I don't appreciate that everyone assumes that I'm too innocent to understand when, honestly, I've heard and done worse. I mean with my super-hearing I can hear the kinky couple 3 floors down fuck perfectly and that not even the that bad compared to the shit that goes down at all my high school house parties."

 

"Wait, wait, wait a minute." Tony exhaled "You mean to tell me that not only do you know what sex is but you also hear and have it!?"

 

"Oh yeah, tons of times. Plus with my spidey-stamina, I usually have more that one partner at a time." He says casually "I have like four boy-toys on call any time I need."

 

Tony lets out a long and loud breath before speaking, "So why don't you just say it in English for everyone to hear, then no one will think of you as innocent. Also, when did you learn Italian?"

 

"I would, but it's more fun this way like a secret only I know, and Aunt May is Italian so she taught me a long time ago."

 

"Well, now it's a secret only you and I know."

 

Peter just chuckled.

 

* * *

 

After that, anytime one of the other made an inappropriate comment Peter or Tony would whisper something dirtier in each other's ear and who can keep the straitest face. He's pretty sure Natasha knows what they're saying but she hasn't said anything, for which he is grateful.

 

Everyone was in the communal living room again to an unofficial movie night when Peter started grilling Bucky about his arm "How much can you lift?" "Who's stronger, you or Mr. Rogers?" "Can we put rockets in it?"

 

"Kid if you don't shut up, I'll choke you with it" Bucky finally says.

 

"Promettere?" (Promise?) Peter said without missing a beat, and Tony bust out laughing, not expecting that at all or maybe it was because he said it right to Bucky's face and he looked super confused. Whatever the reason Tony's laugh made Peter giggle and he saw Nat hiding a smile.

 

So, yeah Natasha knows now. And occasional joins in their little game.

 

* * *

 

The next time it happened it wasn't exactly a... good situation.

 

It had been a fairly easy fight, just as they had just finished beating all the Doom-Botsin New Zeland, but one suddenly malfunctioned and shot Peter when he pushed a civilian out of the after his spidey-senses went off. It left a pretty big hole in hole in his left side.

 

In an instant, Tony was by his side and yelling at someone through the comms - probable bruce- to get Med-Bay ready. Peter feels two alloy arms lift him up and leans into a hard metal chest plate. "Hey! No! Stay awake kiddo, can't sleep now" Tony says in a calm tone but his heart is beating too fast to be normal.

 

"But I'm tired." Peter slurs out he looks to see himself on the quin jet just as Tony lays him on one of the medical tables in the back. Everyone was there since they were worried about the youngest Avenger that most had come to consider family. But Peter was hurt and all his senses were on high alert as a result, and everyone's frantic heartbeats were getting on his nerve. So in a true teenage fashion, he decided to make a joke to calm everyone down, but the only one that came to mind was-

 

"If you tickle my feet, I'm not responsible for what happens to your face," He says just as Vision goes to readjust his legs. And everyone freezes, their hears are still pounding but everything else was quiet. Getting self-conscious with the weight of their stares he declares "It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard."

 

More Silence.

 

He sighs "All your hearts are pounding and it's hearting my ears, I was just trying to lighten the mode," he finally answers the unasked question.

 

* * *

 

 

It's been three days and he's completely fine now. And the Avengers are grilling about his little joke back on the quin jet. They were back at it at dinner the next night. Everyone was in the dining room enjoying Wanda's beef stew and homemade garlic bread which was to die for.

 

"I thought you were this innocent kid" - Wanda

 

"Well you thought wrong" - Peter

 

"So, every time we say something inappropriate, you understand?" - Rhodey

 

"Yup" - Peter

 

"But ho-"

 

"Okay, sit down every one Imma explains this" He finally cracked "You do realize that I'm a super-power super-human with insanely high senses and stamina, right. I can hear when anyone in my Aunts building had sex and I'm a teenager, so you know hormones and such. Plus you shouldn't have underestimated me. And also your jokes are so vanilla, I hope sex life is better than this."

 

Silence.

 

And then howling laughter and they broke off into smaller conversations. And all was right until the Avengers learned Peters other secrets, but that's a story for another day.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment I would love to hear your suggestion/advise/creative criticism!!! Bye-bye Lovelies!


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